know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
