I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
