The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
