you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
where am i from again
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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