I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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