There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
