Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
