There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
