He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
