That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
