Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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