So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
