In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
