I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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