Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
