HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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