u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize