I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
