I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
