If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize