I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Boobs are out for the taking
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
