and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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