Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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