awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I will pee on everything he values.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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