where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
