Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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