speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
