my phone needs a breathalizer
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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