Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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