just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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