So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
