I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
