Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
