For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
