Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
