absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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