her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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