Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
