He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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