I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
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