You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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