Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize