woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
