Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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