I accidentally had phone sex last night
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
