I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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