i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it hurts more in the daytime
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
