He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
