He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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