Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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