You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
