The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
