its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I had to cum in my sink.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
