I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
