and i looked up. we had an audience...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
