Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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