Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize