Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
