What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
