3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
