yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
